Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Bachelor Pad II: Slobber Fest

So the squeaky wheel does get the oil huh?! I have had a few people notice I have been MIA on the blogging scene lately. This is why I think my blogging career needs to be my only one ;)! I just heard my husband scream "In your dreams"... CRAP! Anyhow, I will definitely try to get back on the horse!

I know I skipped a couple weeks of the Bachelor Pad II but I am just going to jump right in to what's going on now!

This week the show started up right where it left off... Jake getting voted off! Honestly I dislike Jake, Vienna, and Casey all the same amount but I was really hoping Casey left so that the drama would continue. I was also just a little disappointed in Jake's exit. What... you continue to kiss their butts after they eliminated you?? I was at least expected a single, if not double fist flip off, maybe even throw one between your legs for a little extra affect. I personally would of gone with the "suck it" international symbol of throwing an X over my lady parts :) CLASSY!!

So what was the competition this week.... SUCKING FACE! Michelle opted out of the competition for her little girl, but let's be honest... she is getting it from Graham and lord knows he is the only one really worth swapping spit with, so I would of sat out too. No way in hell could I of kissed Casey without involuntarily puking in my mouth! On top of that, all the women said he had bad breath... literally gagging. Most of the kissing was kind of pathetic as no one wanted to piss people off but there were a couple people that lip humped harder than the rest! Holly and Ella really went in and felt people's intestines. Blake also went for it. I never knew the point of kissing is to cover up both places people breath out of (Nate I told you, you can learn things from Reality TV... see you tonight ;)). The winners of the spit collecting kissing contest were Blake and Ella. Each one, won a rose and an opportunity to lose their virginity all over again on TV.

Ella's date was first. She choose to go with Kirk which I thought was so cute. I know they are partner's but I think there could be a spark! They took off in a hot little red car to their dinner location where they realized they are the best people in the house and the only ones who truly deserve the money. They then got to ride in a hot air balloon. Ella showed Kirk why she won the competition and he realized, that is not who he voted for!

Blake ended up taking Holly, not his partner Melissa who is completely psycho, on his date. That created a big mess in the house as Holly is the ex-fiance of Michael, who broke up with her because he loves her?!?! I get that Holly is confused but pretty sure she wants her cake and wants to rub it over as many men as possible and lick it off too. Sorry men, she is the typical women searching for the perfect man... because those exist LOL. For the date, Blake and Holly flew to a ski sloop. Holly didn't know how to ski and it was probably the funniest thing ever. Face plant after face plant haha!! They did look like they had a great time but I am a secret fan of Holly and Michael. Of course Holly ended up kissing Blake after he gave a cheesy line. The thing everyone loves about him drives me nuts... his horse teeth. THOSE THINGS ARE BRIGHT! They ended up doing it staying the night together and getting Michael's panties in a bunch.

The morning after Holly and Blake's date, Michael professed he love for Holly. Don't worry men, she has plenty of leg to go around. Seriously... how is that fair?! My leg is from her knee to her foot but at least my butt is bigger than hers... got her good!

At the rose ceremony this week I thought maybe this is when Casey and Vienna would go home but of course people are so brainwashed... if they win, I will state that I am nevering watching this show again (even though we all know I will)! Unfortunately there was really no fighting who got kicked off which is Melissa, the girl who needs a hamburger and William, the wall flower.

Next Week:
I really hope Blake hooks up with Erica and they show him wearing her tiara! It's amazing how two things are so powerful ;)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Bachelor Pad II: Bring on the Real Winners!

That's right people, just when you think I'm at home crying because the Bachelorette is over, the new reality obsession begins... The Bachelor Pad II. Seemed like not that long ago that I was praising some genius that came up with this amazing idea. It's the the Real World/Road Rules challenge with a little hotter people that have an education and REAL life jobs... I DIE! A bunch of Bachelor/Bachelorette rejects trying to win $250,000 and hopefully bump uglies fall in love!

Well I have to be honest and wasn't sure how this season would go. After the show is on once people start learning all the tricks, and it loses some of it's intrigue. But that is not the case this season... so much so it took them 3hrs to show the first episode.

Needless to say most of the show was dedicated to Vienna, who recently got a nose job and let's just say... sometimes you should leave good enough alone. Nothing like feeling it in your wallet and your face! But none the less, her and her bf Casey are on the show and of course that means that Jake is back! I do not like Vienna... but I REALLY don't like Jake. After his temper flare on their reunion... he needs his hands wrapped opposite ways in a white jacket! They are all crazy if you ask me. And apparently it wasn't bad enough that "guard and protect your heart" Casey got a nutso tat on his season but now he's dating Vienna... FUEL TO THE FIRE!

Some things I found interesting...

- Ames is already hooking up and with Jackie. Watch out Ames... not sure she's as nice as she seems ... plus annoying... did you see After the Final Rose... EARS BURNING!

-Michelle Money is siding with Vienna... in what world?!?!

-Graham is back! Cutie Patootie! I still think him and DeAnna were made for each other. But this season it looks like he is partnered up with M.Money. This guy obviously likes to be whipped with silicone.

-Gia Gia Gia... is back for more! Sucks being beautiful and having everyone hate you. Then again beauty isn't everything and she did date/hookup with Wes last season... RED FLAG!

-Turns out Blake is a bit of a big D! And apparently gets the woman this season. Why not go for Kirk, his twin? Oh yea because he is too busy hooking up with Tiara Princess Girl. HURL!

-Rated RATARD is back.

The challenge this week was for couples to hang over beds wrapped around each other for as long as
possible. Vienna kept telling Casey "you can last longer than Jake, believe me ;)" but now we all know the truth... LIES! Jake and Jackie won. They got to go on a date where Jake thought he was going to get some but Jackie just talked about why he got dumped the entire time. Talking about shooting a horse!

Jake and Jackie because of winning were safe for the week and they also got to choose someone to be safe. Well of course it went to Jake's friend Gia right... NOPE! It went to the other inflated blow up doll Vienna... I KNOW... MEN... IDIOTS! Jake is like a dumb girl... "I really wanted him to like me so when he said flip over, I said which way?" Him, Casey, and Vienna talked, which I liked how he asked Casey to join, but Vienna thinks it's again all for show! They are probably all best friends and this is just a way for them to be fame whores!

In the end Rated RATARD and Alli got sent packing by the group. Hopefully he is sitting next to her on the plane home in case they crash... no seat cushions needed!

I think this will be a good season. Full of drama, drama, drama! If nothing else, it will make us all feel a little less crazy!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Bachelorette: I'll Take Another Tat Over a Bottle of Wine!

As one of the final two put it "All good things end badly, that's why they end" and they did for one of the final two bachelors! Last night was the final episode of Ashley the "Overtly Emotional" Bachelorette's season! Going into the final show, I was honestly on the fence about who I thought A. She would choose and B. Who was the best for her. In the end, just like every girl at one point in their lives, she chose the "bad boy" but there was a lot that led up to that point so let's get started...

This week in Figi Ashley's parents joined her to help her make a decision. Along with the mother and step-dad came Ashley's brother and beast of a sister. You know if I was God (or who Darwin said created us) then I would be pretty pissed at someone covering up my work with graffiti. Ashley's sister is such a beautiful girl but you can't help but think the ink has gone to her head! You'll understand in a bit!

The first man to meet the family was J.P.. I honestly thought he would fit in better than Ben because he seemed to be more of the family's type. WRONGO!! From the get go, sister no likey! Just after 15 minutes she tells Ashley AND J.P. that she doesn't see it and there is nothing you can do to change her mind. J.P. is of course hurt and so is Ashley. Later we find out the sister has been married and divorced already. I mean, listening to advice from her is basically like listening to a girl say "The only way to really make sure you don't get pregnant is to pull out" COME ON! Ashley, though mad at her sister, looked like she started to question things which then brought out J.P.'s NY side with a F word flying every other sentence! So that date was a bust!

Ben met the family the next day and INSTANTLY hit it off with them. It seemed as though all their personalities and quirky sides went really well together. The sister was smitten. Pretty sure she was the one who wanted Ben! She even went easy on him with all the questions. Honestly you could see how much more comfortable the family felt with all of Ben's money he had to offer Ashley :). Just kidding, they really did appear to like him more.

So after the She Devil Tattoo Hurricane called Ashley's sister got her fangs into each guy, it was time for individual dates. First up was Benny Boo Boo! What was with the hat, I don't know... a little too much for me ontop of his hair! They flew a helicopter to a place where there was a mud pool. As they rubbed each other with the mud, I started to get uncomfortable and catching myself not looking... I mean nothing is private with this girl, guess that is why she makes good TV! I screamed out loud when she took the mud and shoved it under her top... I MEAN REALLY?!?! She did the old nip and tuck! Later that night they met at Ben's hotel room. I love how ABC has now removed the seating in rooms and just left a bed... here is where you will sit/spoon/grope! I thought it was really cute when Ben finally told her that he loved her. From the way she attacked him after he said that I thought she obviously felt the same way. Come to find out there was some champagne on his lips and you know this girl and not wanting to miss a drop!

Then it was J.P.'s last chance to win her heart. Instantly when they showed Ashley this date, I thought she either had a boob job over night or that top she had on was 100% pad... YOWSERS! Anyhow, they had a long conversation about what happened the day before and J.P. told her that he is madly in love with her. I felt like he rushed it and didn't say it at the most romantic time and the way Ashley just kissed him on the cheek after, didn't make me think she was into it either! But apparently I was wrong because the next shot was of them making out and J.P. taking off her towel... WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! "Hey huh... move your booty a little to the right so we can get the money shot"!! Later that night in J.P.'s hotel room, they sat on the bed and J.P. gave her a book he made her. I actually thought that was really cute and I liked how he said, we can fill it up if you choose me. So though they had some ups and downs this episode, I felt like it ended well.

The Proposal(S)
Both men got rings from Neil Lane to propose to Ashley with. I do have to say I was a fan of Ben's because it was a little different.

I'm not going to lie, I ate up everything that ABC was feeding me this episode. They played up Ben and Ashley's love so much and made you feel like her and J.P. just weren't that compatible. By the end, I was actually rooting for Ben. He just seemed so confident and sincere. Well you can see where this is going...

Ben arrived first and actually GOT DOWN on his knees. I mean seriously... how could she let him do that?!?! And needless to say, she told him it wasn't him. He was, rightfully so, pissed! I mean wouldn't you be after this girl who dumped you made you do your "dog voice" on TV? I felt bad for Ben because he really thought he was the one. Listen Ben, I don't think Momma Ben and Sister Ben would of taken your in laws to high tea so you are probably better off!

So who won Ashley's heart... J.P.. He told her how madly in love he was and got down on one knee. When he opened the box, Ashley thought "Dang, I liked the other ring better" but said yes anyways :)! After all is said and done, I know I gave Ashley a lot of flack this season but the truth is she didn't choose to wear no bra all the time, and ABC told her to be a slore as much as possible so really it's not her to blame. And everyone needs love. I do actually think in the end, she chose the right person. I think he is a better fit for her and vice versa. On the after the rose, she and J.P. looked really in that love/infatuation stage where you can't stop sucking face. I would say these two actually might have a chance... good luck to the happy couple!

So I know the initial reaction after the last episode of a Bachelor/Bachelorette season is to be sad and ask yourself ... "What will I do now with my Monday nights", but have no fear... BACHELOR PAD II is here!

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Bachelorette: Men Tell Ashley "I think we are all better off!"

It was Funday Sunday yesterday with a Bachelorette "Men Tell All" show! Big surprise with ABC's editing, we thought it was going to be a doosey and when Chris Harrison tells us "You don't want to miss this, it's the most shocking Men Tell All ever" we still believe him! And what did we think was going to be the best part of all... Bentley would be there! But unfortunately he lost his balls and wasn't able to find them prior to the show!

Here are some highlights from the night:

  • Sneak Peak of the Bachelor Pad II: HOW EXCITED was anyone else to see Graham was going to be on this season... HOLLA! I also am pumped to see Ames is getting the loving he deserves on this upcoming show.

  • William (Hottie with a dimple who turned out to be quite the female cleanser) got put in his place by the men. He is the only one who thinks he is funny. You could see though that he doesn't mean to hurt people's feelings, he's just a moron.
  • Ryan Solar is still a cheese head. Him and Tensley actually might be good for each other!
  • Tim the drunkerd of the first episode is actually hilarious and has a funny personality! I mean, really Ashley should of gave him a chance like Brad gave her all season as she was wasted 3/4 of the time.
  • Ames has apparently swooned others hearts like mine because the crowd reaction for him was amazing! I do heart him, though he looks a little silly! Such a gentleman. Something I thought was hilarious though is that someone mentioned he doesn't turn his head, he turns his whole body.. I'm like OMG that is it!!! lol
  • Michelle Money showed up again to talk about Bentley and tried to pull down her shirt but there was nothing to pull down #whataslore
  • Anyone notice that Constantine wasn't asked to sit in the hot seat?! Bad hair= Bad ratings!
  • Ashely took advice from some of my least favorite Bachelor/Bachelorettes... Ali, Jason, and DeAnna. I mean really... 1. DeAnna who did it twice and isn't with either man 2. Jason who dumped his choice instantly and 3. Ali, well she just drives me nuts.
  • And lastly to no surprise, Ashely wore a dress she took scissors to and died her hair from a box!
All in all, it was quite a disappointing "Men Tell All", guess that shows you how interesting the men were this season.

I am not 100% convinced she is happy. Did you see her face the entire show? Did she choose someone? Are they still together? I think she would be happy with both guys, but I think she is more JP's type. TONIGHT WE FIND OUT who get's Brad's leftovers!