Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Bachelorette: Honesty is sometimes NOT the best policy!

Though I struggle to watch Ashley each week as the Bachelorette, I have to give it to her that some parts of her are growing on me, and this season has and looks to be one of the more entertaining! I have questioned most of her ridiculous choices this season, but she finally got dumped came to her senses and put the last period to the . . .

Hong Kong was the new adventure this week. Is it me or are they choosing what I would consider, though never having been there, NOT romantic places for them to travel to. That might be a clue of what happens in the end, though I hope not!

Something else to note before we get to the dates, is it was see through week on the Bachelorette!! EVERY shirt she had on, I could see through. I am pretty sure the next step is pasties!

How does this week start... with an impromptu date with none other than BENTLEY (Drink Koesters... they drank each time they said "Bentley" during the show. I only can imagine how interesting their night turned out ;)). I gagged when they kissed first thing... listerine it out Ashley! They then proceeded to talk and Bentley just waited to hear how much she still likes him and misses him. Long story short (just like him), he tells her "well I think you should get to know the other guys" and then starts doing this "evil I have mind f'd you for the past how many weeks smile"...UGH! Then Ashley goes "So I guess this is the period". HOLY CRAP... are you serious... WHY ARE YOU ASKING?!?! Mentally beat her again Bentley she apparently likes it. I love how she does her interview after and says "F U Bentley"... Oh man ... you got him good! Sayonara the Big D B!

Moving on FINALLY... the second first date this week went to Lucas. I am going to be really honest, I just don't like the guy. Notice how our emotionally ra-tarded Bachelorette never thinks, "Hmmm, he fell out of love with his first wife, I wonder if that could happen again". Instead it's "Maybe I am the girl that will change this guy and be his one true love". The whole date was them walking around Hong Kong, trying new foods, enjoying the views, and then they got to ride a boat on the river later that night. Lucas just looked so uncomfortable. You could tell he would rather be at home with a dip in and cleaning his gun. Do not get me wrong... I love country men, but I don't love men that don't want to experience all there is in life! Ashley, ended up kissing him as they were laughing and talking. He was like "was that are first kiss" and Ashley was goes "oh, I guess, don't get too excited, I do that to everyone". So like any man, once you give them some lovin', they think buttons start popping off your clothes. The rest of the night was spent feeling each others tonsils with their tongues.

The group date was next! Of course it was some random boat racing competition the men had to compete in with no prize but a gold dragon trophy. Ashely come on... they don't want a gold dragon, they want to stick their dragon... forget it you are hopeless! I love how production split up the teams ... Bad Hair (Constantine & Ben F.), Arch Enemies (Blake & Ryan), and finally Juice Heads (Mickey & Ames). Of course the steroid twins win, Mickey and Ames! I did appreciate the bad hair team's kamonos... nice touch! So after the uneventful race, they met up for dinner that night. Everyone was after the rose that night. Ames, molested her in the elevator. Hell, I was even waiting for floor 48 so they could get off... of the elevator that is! Ben F. also got some tongue action. I am convinced he is there until the end, but I just don't know if I see it between them yet. She ends up giving her one rose to Ryan after he creepidly kissed her hand in the middle of conversation. RED FREAK FLAG ASHLEY!! The guys were not happy!

So who is left for the one on one... none other than J.P. (or Jordan Paul) that has already had a one on one! They just look so natural and comfortable with each other. Lets stop though and discuss her saggy boob pocket shirt she was wearing. WTF?!?!? Sorry, side tracked! Anyhow, she told J.P. at dinner about how Bentley came to Hong Kong because she wasn't sure about her feelings. He took it pretty well. You could tell he was thinking "she won't show me her goods later if I freak... play it cool"! She acted like she was a saint for telling him. It's like "since I am mad at my husband I should just trip him when he walks... that would make me feel better"! But all was good in "Jashlep" land! They then took a train ride in the dark, because they wanted to see the city?? Needless to say, those two are pretty cute together. They look like each other which is a sign I think...

At the rose ceremony, let's again stop and talk about Ashley's dress of the night. STUNNING! Surprisingly not see through but I did notice they inserted two entire fake boobs in the top so that she had cleavage!

Anyhow, right off the bat since J.P. took it so well, she tells the guys about Bentley and how he finally dumped her she has moved on after seeing him in Hong Kong. GOOD LORD they are pissed! Lucas & Constantine seemed more mad then anyone. Blake acts too cool for school and makes her cry. Buddy you're teeth are not that great! And then finally Mickey tells her to send him home. So Mickey ended up leaving on a boat! Even though I liked Mickey, I never thought Ashley was his type anyway.

When she passed out the roses, the only one who did not get one was the mean guy, Blake. I love how he wanted to act all cool and let her know she did wrong but then said he really wanted to stay... on vacation you mean!

That was a crazy episode, but it looks like it only gets better from here! I don't know about anyone else, but the producers did a great job of confusing the heck out of me! I have no clue who comes back and who is there until the end. Of course we all have guesses though...

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Bachelorette: Anyone Still Wonder Why She's Single?

Was anyone as excited for this week as I was? From the previews from last week, it looked like Bentley reappeared. I know I know, I said I hate that pathetic excuse for a man let alone a human being but MAN when he left, it became apparently clear that the rest of these guys seem to be lacking in the personality field! As many of you know that watched last night... it did not happen this episode, so more to come on that later! But none the less this was still a great week as we continue to see all the traits that have kept Ashley SINGLE!

The whole group headed to Chang Mai, Thailand this week. Again, it looked like another amazing location. Not sure I would classify it as a "place to fall in love" like Ashley... which she didn't, but still pretty cool!

The first one on one when to Ben F.. I was actually happy about this, because I wanted to get a little more information about him to see why Ashley has kept him around so long because we all know it's not because of his hair! They went to the market and just walked around. I love how he told her he wanted to buy the dress for her... my type of man! When they got to the temple and she told him they can't kiss, I just thought this part was actually really cute between them. You could cut the sexually tension with a samurai :)! Maybe we should start calling her a tease! A typical woman... always wants what she can't have! Did you see her impression of a strangled cat wanting to pounce on Ben F.? Note to self... NOT a sexy noise! At dinner later that night, they had a great conversation about his dad and why he got into making wine. I just didn't feel that Ashley was her bubbly self all day. And why would she be, he name doesn't start with a B... wait yes it does lol! But you know where I was going with that! At the end of the date Ben F. got his kiss... multiple kisses for that matter. It kept looking like Ashley would kiss him then pull back like "yuck" wait, let's try that again, and again, and again. Ben F. breath mints next time buddy... she can only hold her breath for so long!

Next was the group date. Little did these macho men know what they were getting themselves into. The date was having them all learn Muay Thai. I mean, I see why Ashley set this date up as they all had to take off their shirts so she could see the goodies! Mickey looked... well holy hell! I think they baby oiled him up lol! Anyhow, once the training was done, they headed to the ring. You could tell they were all scared as Muay Thai is pretty intense. Each guy was paired with another guy on the date to fight. All was well and testosterone was flying until it was Ames turn. I know he struggles in the face department but seriously, I think he is so cute being a lover not a fighter. Intelligence is way sexy! Anyhow, needless to say he had never threw a punch in his whole life and got his marbles knocked loose. He was so out of it so they took him to the hospital... pink shorts and all!

Later that night they met up for drinks. Luckily Ames was ok and was able to make the party. He was so cute when he told her that he would "romance her next time". I love how he was still way out of it but yet witty! Look people, I know I'm loving on Ames, but when there isn't much to look at out of the whole bunch anymore, you have to go to personality. Maybe he can wear a hat more often! She had a one on one conversation with Lucas that just grossed me out! He was teaching her how to swing a golf club. She had on, with no surprise, a SUPER short dress and asked him if she should stick out her butt. He about died, probably because he saw she had no underwear on! Of course they had to do the correct swing form together. I'm not sure how he could get that close without poking her at that point! Surprisingly the rose of the night went to Blake, the dentist. We haven't seen much of him except for his teeth so I haven't quite formed an opinion. I thought Ames deserved it for getting his lights knocked out but Nathan, my husband, said you don't reward failure. I'm sure our kids won't be competitive at all!

Finally was the dreaded 2 on 1 date! Surprisingly she choose Ben C. and William WOD. I left off the H (hottie) because he has turned into quite the TARD! Anyhow, they literally got to the location for the date and William had his one on one time. There he tells her that Ben C. was talking about going on a dating website after all this. She didn't even question it... SEE YA BEN C.!! Wowsers... at first I was like William will do anything to get rid of him but then Ben C. tells Ashley I feel betrayed because I was joking. HOLY CRAP you admitted it lol! Obviously she didn't like him and this just made it all the easier! Later that night at dinner William thought he had it in the bag! He was cocky and childish and you could tell she was highly unimpressed. I think I saw her eyes blink for a really long time once (insert snoring noises). Needless to say, his stay at dinner was short lived! There goes the last one of my initial picks. Boy I spotted those losers! Only amazing part of this date was her dress! HOT!!

At the rose ceremony she was a huge downer again! "I know not everyone will fall in love with me"... pity party of one! The main converstation that stuck out to me of that night was Constantine. He told her that basically he's not in love with her and feels more of a connection to the guys than her. WHAT... are you asking to leave?? Well let's just say, with any non-abusive, mentally stable girl he would be gone!

She met with Chris Harrison to have their "girl chat" of the night and she came out, which I do like her honesty, and told him that she STILL misses Bentley. I thought I saw Chris Harrison bitch slap her but then I realized that was only a dream of mine! He basically was like you suck at this process, it's not going to work like this, can you please stop sticking your tongue down people's throats if you don't like them!! Good lord, you know it's killing Chris not to tell her everything!

That night she only had to let go of one, and that one was Mr. Personal Trainer Nick. He seemed a lot more distraught then she was to let him go. Probably because as a tease she doesn't realize always putting her WHOHAA on him while he's doing pushups would send mixed signals!

Next Time...
For real... Bentley appears!! From the looks of it, this might be the episode of the season! Men are angry and let her have it!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Father's Day Love!

Hopefully all of you remembered that yesterday was Father's Day! If not, I am sure Hallmark has "I am sorry I'm an ungrateful child" card. We celebrated the day with my Father in KC. My husband grilled some amazing pizza's, we watched some golf which of course means some mid-afternoon naps and then finished the day with a little "Green Leaf" as my wonderful father calls it! It's actually Orange Leaf but it was his day, so corrections were not allowed :)! We had so much fun! It's nice to actually get to do something for your parents after all they have done for you. As little as it was, it felt good just to show my appreciation to the endless love that my father has shown me over the years!

If you don't know me, my father and I well, let's just say, he might have something to do with my WONDERFUL personality ;)! He is so full of life and I love that about him. He is truly a fun person to be around and is loved my many. He has worked really hard in his life to provide the best life possible for himself and his kids. He has done a great job because I, along with my brothers, have little to complain about (well except we aren't billionaire kids who don't have to work for a living)!

It's hard to put into words, how much you love your parents and family, as there is no other unconditional, you have to forever, type of love like that. But here are some things as to why I love my dad sooooo much!

  • He is a farmer! There is something refreshing about country life and not getting caught up in the hoopla of life! Also, life lessons as a farmer are better demonstrated then just talked about. For instance, instead of telling your kids that an electric fence is hot, he told us to grab the fence and when it shocked the piss out of us he said, "ok now don't ever do that again"! Very powerful tactic!
  • My father can fall asleep in literally 2 seconds! I love him for this because he passed on this great trait ;).

  • Dance moves! Never have a seen a man break out in as many random dance moves as my father. Driving in a car or walking to the bathroom, that in its self requires him to bust a move! Again... an amazing trait he passed on ;)
  • His wit :). Some people think our family is sarcastic... which ok... we are! But in our circle... we like to use the word "wit". Sounds like more of a positive characteristic lol! Get with my family in the room, you better be on your toes!
  • His use of words! "Copy that", "Over and Out", "Oh whatever", and the list goes on!
  • The fact he took the time to be a father and teach his kids things! He taught me to drive at age 6! The truck was parked in the ditch in the road and he told me to back it up and go up the road. Needless to say I went from one ditch to the other and he patiently said after 4 times "Turn the wheel" :) Nate, you can blame him on my great driving abilities!

  • He's pet friendly! I'm sure everyone knows, but a little girl basically has her father wrapped around her finger! So between dogs, bucket calves, a cat, and a horse my father has graciously helped me raised my "wanted at the time" animals. Somehow they all died when I was not around, I'm hoping that was a coincidence father ;)

  • His love for chick flicks! Most weekends with my father were spent eating Breadeaux's breadsticks and watching the latest girly movie out! Men may make fun of that but he's actually a genius! Do you know how many hot chicks are in those movies?!?!
  • Most importantly... he convinced my mother to have me! As I have mentioned in posts prior, he promised I would be a girl. A very risky promise if you know my mother and the wrath that would of came if I had not been one lol! We are both lucky we are alive today :)

As you have read above, my father is definitely a one of a kind! I know sometimes he cringes at my decisions but he has always let me make my mistakes and figure it out as I go which I love!

Dad, you have been an amazing father to my brothers and I!

You have taught us so much along the way and I know there are more life lessons to come. I am truly blessed that you are my dad and I love you for every laugh we share!

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Bachelorette: Snooze Fest

Let me start of this week by saying HOW BORING this episode was. All Ashley did was go on dates with boring guys and mope around missing Bentley. Hell, I almost started to miss him after this week! Also I think he might of left one week too early as Ashley started wearing underwear for shorts. Can anybody give me a HOOOHA! (The picture doesn't do the shortness justice!!)

This week started off with Constantine finally getting a date! I thought, maybe this will help me see past his bad hair. But now instead of his hair all I see are his orange shorts. Hmmm remind you of anyone?? Vanessa Gower (Calcara) will be so excited I put a picture of ED in this week's blog. Seriously V... I still don't get it!

Ashley was in her Bentleymood when they didn't get to go on the original date but I loved how Constantine was so positive and was like "hey hoochie, we are in Thailand and you have underwear on as shorts, everything is great!" This of course coming from the man in Addias sandals... OMG! Their date was a fun friend date and then they had a great dinner by the sea. The conversation was so... "what's your favorite color", "no way me too". Basically she had R-E_B-O-U-N-D written all over her forehead! He got the rose, but pretty sure he didn't get her flower!

Next the group date! I love how they all think she is so kind-hearted for picking a date to help the Baan San Fan Orphanage paint their walls. I'm sure ABC had nothing to do it! Plus she was all about this date because she could walk around in the rain thinking about Bentley! Mr. Solar was SUPER excited because apparently that is his thing. I know I am what my husband calls a "pessimist", personally I just think I am a realist, but his sunshine coming out of his buttocks region is almost to much for me. I mean, hasn't he ever had a dog die, broke an arm, worked 8-5?? I did however enjoy Ben F. a little this date. This is the first we have really got to listen to him talk. I think he might actually have a great personality which helps me not look at his face/hair! Him deciding to paint a mural on the way was pretty cool! Wine maker and artistic... might be a winner! Later that night J.P and Ashley had some more steamy kisses. She kept going back for more and so did his tongue. My TV screen started flashing "Nobody under the given age of 18 can legally see an R rated ..."! Unlike Constantine... I believe her flower was watered that night by J.P. Yet, she gave the rose to Ben F.!

The last man standing for a one on one was Ames. I know he has some interesting/prominent features, but there is something I have always liked about him. What is that something... well on the date, we found out that he's already been to Thailand... TWICE! Once to lay on the beach climb a mountain and the other time for cooking school! OH, and when he decided to go to cooking school he left... THAT NIGHT! Spontaneity & Money = Hell of a good time! If only I could understand him! I didn't know if you were rich/well educated you had to say "Indeed" instead of yes.
  • "You went to Harvard? Indeed"
  • "You've traveled to over 70 countries? Indeed"
  • "Your peter is a lot shorter than you let on? Indeed"
As Ames put it, Thailand looked "other worldly" which I assume he means, pretty awesome and I would have to agree! They had a great date floating on the water and then had dinner that night. She made him (and I for that matter) feel like she was going to send him home. But she said, he's so deep, and interesting a.k.a she didn't want to look like an uneducated person that can't refer to herself in 3rd person. "Ashley wants to know if you will accept this rose Ames... Indeed"! Though there were no kisses, again she gave out something much more intimate... a sneak peek of the goodies. GOOD LORD GIRL... I HOPE YOU HAVE GRANNIE PANTIES ON UNDER THERE!! But I guess if you got it rock it!

The Rose Ceremony!

Ashley felt so much better after her platonic dates this week that she was up for a rose ceremony! I mean, I guess I rag on her too much... she's was in a DARK PLACE after Bentley... it is so obvious she gave it up to him! There is no way she is that emotionally attached without losing her V card... that would be assuming she still has it which... I DON'T!

West looked super cute that night. The poor guy just wants love again!

Notice how Lucas said his marriage just lost it's passion and she asked him how he can make sure to keep it for the next relationship and he changed the subject. Yep... keep him Ashley... sounds like your type!

Really Ryan... I think he went a little far to say the reason he is happy is because he isn't a solider overseas getting morter shots!! What the hell? Then I am happy as well I suppose! What's wrong with "I just got a new dog that makes me smile"?? Sorry Kiptyn but him and Tenley are meant for each other!

Does anyone else love how Chris Harrison basically was telling Ashely to not be a RA-TARD when it comes to Bentley... I love him!!

In the end, I regret to say she got rid of West! I think she felt like she could never live up to his first wife, which is fair. But the cute men are slowly dwindling...

What's in store of us in the future ... B-E-N-T-L-E-Y! That's right people... HE'S BACKKKKKKKK!