Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Bachelorette: "..."

Let's talk about dedication!! After a fun weekend in Boston celebrating a friend's wedding with my husband, I got back around 9pm. I knew I could not go to bed... there was only one option... TV/DVR on > List> The Bachelorette> PLAY! That's right people I stayed up WAY past my bed time (10pm... SHUSH your mouths... have you been around me with no sleep... I am not a nice human) because I just couldn't wait one more day!

Right off the bat Ben C. got a date! And it was just what he asked for... a dance date. Ashely took him to a studio and taught him a dance. I am confused, is she a dancer or a dentist?! Ok, I guess it would be a little weird to gas the men and give them crowns on her dates! So instead they dance! Once they learned the moves, they had a picnic of course but that is where it got REALLY CHEESY! They started doing the dance moves in front of a bunch of people without music... super awkward and then what do you know, the music started... and BAM... FLASH MOB! Then they had a concert, kissed (because that is what she does WITH EVERYONE), and had dinner. HONESTLY I am bored out of my mind just writing this! HE is turning out to be boring and blah. Nice guy but telling her that he would be at home thinking about what he would text her and talk to her about next is like telling her he doesn't need to use his playboy magazines that night because he met her!

The group date was next... thank the lord I needed a little excitement to bring me back! But the group date could not start before Jeff FINALLY revealed himself. The moment was so anti-climatic... kind of like most girls first times. That was it? That is what I was saving myself for? Of course this was not my experience... my husband rocked my world, hit a home run, was just as I imagined, incredible... SORRY everyone, Nate edits my posts ;)! Anyhow, back to the mask... I almost wanted him to put it back on! He looked more creepy with it off... but onward to the date!

The men were taken to a comedy club where they were going to "Roast" Ashley. Talk about a setup... RUN!!! Anyhow, all was well and people were playing it cool until one started and then it was all down hill from there. Really you talked about her flat chest?! It brought back some bad memories for me for sure... "what is flatter than your back... your front" clever. If only I was as quick witted then as I am now... I would of punched them in the balls for sure LOL... like Ashley should of. But who is the worst?! HWOD William :(! I sure know how to pick them from first impressions huh?! First the marijuana head and now the emotionally abusive. Really, you say you wished she was Emily?? Did you see after the rose... she would make your life hell unless you were deaf! So when Ashely gets upset... who comforts her... SCUM SUCKING Bentley! He makes my blood boil! And she is a tard for falling for a guy that sounds like Beavis & Butthead when he laughs...."Uh huh huh huh huh"!!!

I did feel bad for William when he was crying because I don't think he is a mean person, he is just an idiot and this is why he is still single! She was so upset she really didn't listen to most of the other men on their private times. I am pretty sure I heard Jeff tell her he adopted a 3 legged dog... BAHAHAHA! Then of course she gave up her goodies, even if they are flat to Ryan who is now coming across as a cheeseball! Finally Bentley makes his move for the rose. But not before Ashley lays it out that she heard he was here for the wrong reasons. Did anyone else listen him... HE NEVER SAID IT WASN'T TRUE!! Ashley was like... yep you are right, your long john is bigger than anyone else's! But the rose went to Ryan... at least he is legit.. to legit to quit!

The next day, since cry baby Bentley did not get a rose the night before, he thought "yep, today is the day I will take a poop on Ashley's heart". Literally he said he had to poop before he told her on camera... UGH!! Watch out people he may be the anti-christ reincarnated and our time on earth may be up! I think he was so pathetic to tell the guys and Ashley that it was all about missing his daughter. The Ex should sue for full custody using the Bachelorette footage... there has to be a character issue! He was kissing Ashley's neck while she was crying trying to "turn her on" ... SLEEZEPIECEOFSHITHOLEMOTHERFER. And then she straddled him... and he thought instantly about ... well, what could only take him 10-15 seconds. I AM JUST SO ANNOYED that she fell for that crap!! "..." F F F!!!! I KNOW... she didn't know... but "one of her good friends warned her". Next time Michelle Money should tell her he has something you TOO might have forever and see if that chases her away!! You are right... probably not!

Finally a guy I can support on this show... the last date went to J.P! He is so growing on me! His date was at Ashley's house where she was moping about well, let's be honest, the best thing that ever happened to her in two weeks! They had a little dinner and then decided to get comfy in pj's that of course he brought! Not going to lie, she scored some points with me on not only putting on pj's but also for getting into her glasses. I mean talk about confidence! You could almost see him fall in love with her more for that. I loved that she loved his kisses more than Bentley's!!! I wonder if she recorded that after she heard Bentley call her ugly?! But none the less... go J.P!

The Rose Ceremony or "You could all go at this point if your name isn't Bentley Ceremony"

She looked AMAZING!! I would die for those cute little dresses and her legs to go in them :). Anyhow, Chris sat her down for some girl talk! I love him for that. Basically she said she doesn't know how she can go on and Chris, who is AWESOME, goes "If he wanted to be here, he would of stayed and found a way to stay". What does Ashley say "Really... I don't know". She is so that best friend that you tell her that her boyfriend is cheating and show her pictures yet she still goes... "that is a bad angle, that may not be him". DRIVES ME NUTS! You are right... it's not him... it's YOU!

So because she is soooo upset over Bentley she decides to not have a rose ceremony! I was surprised since some guys did not get dates, but all of those guys were the first to be chosen. Seriously... I say this every week... Constantine & Ben F.?!?! I don't get it yet! In the end she gave William a second chance. Which I think was a good decision but if he tells her to cut her hair and dye it blonde next week he has to go to Charleston!

Sadly a guy who was a no name and the Phantom BatFace Mesnick who turned out NOT to be Jason had to go. I'm telling you, maybe Jeff was right to go with the mask... some faces only a mother could love... maybe ;)!

Up next... Thailand :)!!!

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