Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Bachelor: Bad Hair = Bad Taste

Can we all agree on one thing? If we weren't avid reality TV watchers and somehow felt like we would be out of the loop if we didn't watch, I think after week two, the Bachelor would be cut like Ben needs to do to his hair! ABC is going to have to spice it up. I am over the typical cat fights... "Her face looks like a horse (it does but beyond the point)", "Look Jenna's drunk again", "She's a lesbian (which ABC should of played up on a little more)". But previews for the rest of the season lead us to believe Ben's season is going to get better with a return of an ex, PG-13 blurred nudity, and potentially a girl that says no to his SECOND proposal on national TV. Guess that is enough for me to keep watching.

This week on the Bachelor, Ben (ABC), flew all the girls out to Sonoma, CA to see where they will live for the rest of their lives if they are the love of Ben's life. At least we can all agree the "winner" will have an endless supply of wine!

Kacie B. got the first date. Yes I know what you are thinking... Who?! She is the girl with the HEAVY accent from Tennessee. Their date started off with some sightseeing in the dark... wtf? I do have to give her a little credit when she whipped out the baton skills. It could be that I secretly wanted to be able to do that in high school but these thighs in that glorified sparkling swimsuit was just something no one needed to see! Anyhow, I just chalked up their dinner date to them being the most perfectly boring couple. I almost can't even make fun of her about anything because I become comatose when I think about her. The night ended with them watching old home videos of their dads. ABC totally got me and I teared up during Ben's childhood clips because I love my daddy! But let's get serious... who doesn't love Kevi D! I guess I could see these two together but ... ugh... I literally have nothing to say about them...THAT IS HOW BORED I AM!

Well thank the lord that date ended and then the group date began! Lots of woman with one man... it's the best combination for drama! A little different then the normal video or movie shot, the girls and Ben put on a play that was written and directed by children. I have to be honest... a little weird having children on a show about a bunch of women who want to sleep with one man. Jennifer, the cute red head, was definitely the best with the play! She seems fun but not over the top. PLUS, we all remember my attempt to go red... let's just say her red, though obviously not real, looks a lot better than my carrot top moment :).

But I did enjoy doing something different though note to self, eyebrows have to match the rug... wait that's not right :/ lol! Seriously on that note... to all you blondes who are currently trying to go brunette... if it ain't broke... don't fix it. I won't pretend to be blonde if you don't pretend to be smart :) OMG it was a joke! Just put down the dye...! Back to the date, the only other person during the play that stood out was Blakey and her Baywatch moment. Let's give her a break with the cleavage as she thought she was going to see Ben not a bunch of 9 year olds but the camel toe is inexcusable either way. Damn those rompers! The play was a bit odd especially when Ben lost all his clothes and only had like 3 cotton balls covering well his balls! Kids... brutally honest :)!

The rest of the date was spent in bathing suits of course! We saw a couple girls double kiss Ben on his cheek like it's spring break and it's ok to share a guy. Blakely had a suck face session with Ben and kept talking about how blessed she is... blessed by botox?!? Samantha expressed her hatred for Blakely. And Jennifer and Ben went to the hot tub and had an awkward conversation that basically went "we only have two minutes to grope each other so let's get at it". Jami, who I love, bounced around it Ben's face but sadly the rose went to Blakely. According to where Ben's blood supply goes to, Blakely made the most of the day with Ben. Do you think he is slow or just like every man...

Courtney, the "model", got the last date. Confused... does "model" mean you don't have to wear makeup? The answer to that is NO! They went and spent the day in the woods and vineyard. Ben the whole time finished all of her sentences trying to make her into his perfect woman.

Ben: What do you want in life?
Courtney: Well as time goes on...
Ben: You want to travel and have kids...
Courtney: Exactly
Ben: And you have been wanting me to feel you up all day...
Courtney: Winning

She seemed "normal" on the date, but evil with the girls in the house. When she found out she was going on the last date she told Kacie B. "How did that taste coming out of your mouth". My response would have been... "Like a dirty whore". I know... I would get far on this show! The date ended with Ben and Courtney robotically kissing... so weird! Maybe it's the shape of his lips... I don't know... can we get TeBow on this show!?!

The Rose Ceremony

Some note worthy performances...

1) Lindzi drives a diesel truck. Let's just say Ben would always be on bottom lol!
2) Jenna is starting to remind me of Kim Richards on HWBH. Though according to her... definitely a guy!
3) Blakely's crying... real? Real as her tatas!
4) Casey S is still rocking it for Kansas! Hang in there girl!

Jenna, "heshe", was the one to not receive a rose... SURPRISE!

Along with Shawn someone...

FINALLY next week I hope to not be nodding off during the show as the EX comes back! HOLLA

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