Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Bachelor: Naturely Boring
To begin, I am sorry I missed last week! I was traveling to play "single mom" for a week with my 5 & 3 year old niece and nephew (DEFINITELY a blog to come about that)! So, as you mom's out there know, I had little free time that I didn't want to not spend sleeping!
I did have some thoughts on last week though. Can I do it within 10 Katisms... sadly yes!
1. Why on 1 on 1's do they have to run towards each other?
2. Is it just me or does Ben think he can solve everything by feeling intestines with his tongue?
3. Emily got matched on Match.Com with her brother... hint, hint?!?
4. My husband now drives through Leawood in hopes to see Casey S. and those daisy dukes!
5. Ben only likes Kacie B. because she skis "Jersey Turnpike" style!
6. Brittney realized Ben's not worth all the free wine in the world.
7. Yes I would of dumped Ben for Matt Nathenson!
8. Note to men: Playing "This years love" is a sure fire way to get what you want!
9. Telling any man you'd make cute babies together after 3 days = STALKER
10. Sorry Chantal... Ben is not ready to pick out his coffin!
On to Utah and this week's Bachelor!
This week the ladies and Ben went to Park City, Utah for some outdoorsy dates! I would of been fine not getting a date this week. It's not that I'm not into nature, etc. but let's get serious... I'm on the Bachelor for extravagant dates/gifts not love ;)! First date this week went to snagtooth Rachel. I know, I know... I will burn in hell after all these blogs!
I was excited to see what would come out of her manly voice and Ben because they looked to have chemistry last time they were together. Turns out sitting in a boat and at a picnic starring at each other was NOT a good idea. I think Ben had the right idea to switch the conversation to beavers but then he pointed over to the damn and again I was as bored as them! He did end up giving her the rose at the end of the night which surprised me. He must feel safe when he closes his eyes and hears Al Green!
Next was the group date with Courtney. AGAIN, I would of stayed in the hotel rather than being next to the devil. How does our Leawood girl stick up for her?!? To tight of jean shorts? Ok I'll stop... that was the jealousy talking ;). Anyhow, Ben looking oh so manly on a horse, has to cross a pond to get to the girls for the date and ends up looking like what would happen if Blakely ever got a hold of him!! He thought girls that have been starving themselves for months to show off their bodies would like to go fly finishing :(. Courtney was the only one to catch a fish. They must be attracted to her smell ;). At the cocktail party later that night Samanatha shot her self in the foot, though I am not sure how she saw her feet past her GIGANTIC IMPLANTS! Basically she was like "I am too cool for these group dates" and then Ben informed her "Your boobs are not enough anymore". So Samanatha went home right before Courtney manipulated Ben into giving her the rose. I don't know about you guys but the more Courtney's uni (uni-brow) fills in the more Ben finds her attractive... perplexing!
The last date went to Jennifer! I was so happy for her! They had to crawl into a cave over water and then drop into it! UM awesome!! Pretty sure that inspired me to connect my husband and myself to a cord that has some bungee in it and jump off a cliff :). Me=Adrenaline Junkie! Ok back to the fab date! Jennifer and Ben had great conversations and just looked more natural as the night went along. Oh and did I mention that they went to the Clay Walker concert? Is Ben trying to get the girls to leave him for the performers?? Clay walkers jeans... still fit the same at any age :)! Ben gave her the rose and they tongued in front of everyone. True love... my guess is no but she is great!
Poor Emily went crazy and decided to tell Ben, who is infatuated with Courtney that, she sucks ass. Good decision? In the long run I say yes as she can do better ;). But telling Courtney's best friend in the house what you did... makes me think I could get a PhD as well! Courtney responded to the bad mouthing by saying "I'm a nice person. Don't f**k with me". Some times she just makes so much sense!
Lucky I guess for Emily, she got a rose and poor lesbian Monica was sent home. In the long run I think she did like boys as well but Ben was not into boobs this week!
Next week makes me want to gag watching Ben & Courtney touch their, as my niece would call it "privacies" together in the ocean.
It's official... ABC and I are breaking up!