Thursday, January 26, 2012

Relating to Teen Mom on MTV

Ok, I don't live with my parents, have a druggie/loser boyfriend that left me when he found out I was going to have a kid, or got a boob job because I am showing the world how pathetic of a mom I can be BUT...

I did play single mom for a week! Praise all of you! Nate, my husband, now thinks he wants to hold off even longer on having kids as I have turned into what he calls a "bum". I have been sleeping in later, not wanting to really get off the couch, or basically be a productive member of society. Now don't take that the wrong way! I was oh... probably one of the most fun mom's of the week :) when I watch my 5 & 3 year old niece and nephew... but I think it took every fun/productive ounce out of my body for at least a week after.

Over my week of being a single mom with two kids in a town I had no clue where anything was, I picked up some mom "insights" or "theories" that hopefully future, new, and already out of the house mom's will appreciate!

1. Cold weather, to the point your fingers might fall off and two kids under 6 reminds me of a room with white walls and tight jackets.
2. Innocent children's movies can make little kids do the darnedest things. For instance, I as an adult, when watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, would never see Violet put gum behind her ears and go "Hmm ... I wonder if it really sticks back there"... HOLY HELL
3. One karate chop deserves another. You hate to always have to yell at little kids to not fight so it's a whole lot easier when they resolve it on their own. He shoves her... she trips him... let's just call it even!

4. Kids think sleeping is for the birds. Seriously, they may have it right that we should be living life instead of wasting it sleeping but how do you willingly get up at 5:30am!!!! Thank the lord we don't live in Alaska and I can just say, it's still night time go back to sleep!
5. Kids are creatures of habit! If I had a nickle for every time I heard "My mom doesn't do it like that" I could be on my way to retirement.
6. Having the "look" is a gift. If your mom didn't have it, there is a chance your father did. It's that look that can instantly send your kids into tears or make them instantly stop what they are doing. It's useful in public places so that you don't have to raise your voice.
7. When you are walking and all the sudden your little one puts their tiny hand in yours to hold... your heart melts!
8. Phrases like "I'm gunna miss you" and "I love you Katie Koester (insert your name)" make you realize how lucky you are and what a gift it is to be a parent (aunt).

9. Every McDonald's should have a play area! Lord knows, we aren't there for the healthy meal!
10. Boys might be the easiest sex to entertain (no surprise there)! If you can throw, hit, catch a ball for 2 hours... you are in business.
11. Kids have surprising talents. I can't hula hoop to save my life but my niece... watch out!

You thought thought 1 hula hoop was impressive...

12. Cooking with kids is a great way to pass time! There is a ton for them to do and they get to eat what they make! My husband wants me to have dinner each night for him... he didn't say who had to make it :).

13. When kids are "over it" they are OVER IT! Let's just say, we got a little turned around in MN and man, they let you know about it. "Big sigh"... "What's wrong"... "Are we there yet" ... "Unfortunately no, but ask me again in 1 minute" ... "Big sigh" ... "What's wrong".... OK you get the point! Patience is definitely a virtue!
14. Praise all mother's that don't turn into blimps! Oh, it's time for a snack... don't mind if I do. Oh, you didn't finish your dinner... don't mind if i do. Oh, all I've eaten this week is goldfish and chicken nuggets yet my pants won't button...UGH!
15. DVD players in cars... GENIUS! This was very helpful on all my ventures that took a little longer than expected due to wrong turns :)
16. Kid know their directions... KIND OF!
"Katie, you aren't going the right way to my school"
"Really, where do I turn then"
"Uh... well you go this way for a while and then we are there"
"Can you give me a street name"
"Oh right... your 5"
17. Children's Museums are a parent's dream. Lord knows, toys are boring after 8 seconds and you don't have enough money to buy new ones every week so why not go to a place where their job is to entertain your kids :). Some say laziness... I say "using your resources"!

18. Kids have an unspoken or sometimes spoken bond! For the life of me, no matter how hard I try... sometimes you can not understand what little kids are saying. THIS is why you have two!
Carter "weirojeworij"
Kaite "What"
Carter "werlekjwrjkl"
Katie "What"
Carter "Nevermind" (break my heart)
Katie "Kennedy, what is he trying to say"
Carter "wkelrjewlwe"
Kennedy "He said where is your airplane"
Katie "Praise you"
19. It's always the other ones fault. I came up stairs and caught Carter in Kennedy's room when they both should of been in bed. Kennedy was showing him some books. Me: "What are you two doing"... Kennedy: "Carter came in here"... Me: "Maybe he wouldn't of if you were not reciting the whole Chipwrecked movie out loud".
20. No matter what... your kids are the best! Unless your kids are just holly terrors and you are a big enough person to admit it, you absolutely believe that your kids are miracles of life! I have to admit, I am a little different... I KNOW they are the best ;)! I have to give MAJOR props to my sister in law! She, being a stay at home mom, has really created two pretty specials kids. They are so well behaved and polite. There hearts are so big. I can not wait to see the adults they grow into!

Even though my grandmother thought after a week of me babysitting, she would never get any grandchildren out of me, I have to admit it didn't send me quite over the edge! We can only hope they come out one at a time!

PS- LOVE THOSE MUNCHKINS more than anything!

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