The Bachelor Reminds Me of a Train Wreck!

Could the Bachelor be any more obvious this season?! Hmmm.....what is a girls biggest fear? Let's find out and make her do that in front of Brad. So if I was on the show they would put me in a snake pit. GET SERIOUS people! Also, as soon as I see a rose in the rain with scary music I'm like "and camera shot of Michelle". Her theme song just gets creeper every episode!

Right off the bat, the episode begins with none other than the creeper herself or should I say "Rocky Balboa". Michelle wakes up with a black eye. She kept asking everyone "How do you get a black eye when you sleep"... YOU DON'T! My theory... she is a hairstylist. They have to learn about makeup in their classes I'm sure. Brad looked a little sketched out when he saw it and was like "How are you" as he tapped Chantal on the back like get up so we can go!

Chantal got the first date. It just makes sense after the chemistry they had last episode. He tells her "what is more romantic than a guy picking you up in a helicopter". Well blonde Brad you didn't pick her up in that, you drove your car over and they picked both of you up in the helicopter...anyhow! They take off and go to a place where they walk on the sea floor. Of course she is terrified of water but is a true champ and doesn't freak out. I mean, what is more cute than an under water helmet to helmet kiss! After that they canoodled under the covers while we were bored with their random conversations. I was starting to think never mind for this love story and then after he gave her the rose, I saw them give each other a hard time like a normal couple would do...very cute! And then came the uncomfortable tonsil hockey! We thought it would come to an end when the rain started, but don't worry ABC found a way for them to keep groping each other in a tent, I mean playing hand puppets under each others shirts, I mean talking :)!

The next date was of course the group date! Michelle was SUPER excited she didn't get to be on it, as we all prayed she didn't get ANY date. The women on the group date went on the "Love Line" with Dr. Drew. Stacey shot herself in the foot by being honest about cheating. Brit stepped it up by laying out her feelings about Brad on the radio because she is shy when it's just him and her so she would prefer to do it in front of thousands of listeners! Hey, you go girl, he ate it up! And then Ashely H. opened her mouth and it only got worse from there! When everyone went to get in the hot tub the race for Brad's attention started instantly. Poor Allie talked for 2 minutes and then got interrupted by innocent Ashley S.. The girl on girl interrupting continued until it came to Brit. Maybe he sees her as a challenge but I'm not sure I see them together. Though for being shy, that girl was going at it! Then who of all people walks up...the train wreck herself, Ashley H.. Can we say "DRUNK"?! Nothing was more hilarious than when Brad goes "What are you doing" lol! Brad some advice...run! When he finally decides to give the rose he goes "I want to reassure this person that I want them here", I screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. When he got to the hot tub Ashley H. had word vomit again, from too much alcohol I'm sure, and he changed his mind! I DIED laughing! So props to Brit for being 2nd in line!

Last date goes to Rocky, Creeper, Psycho, Michelle! Chantal was hilarious when she goes "Notice how your note says nothing about love" and Michelle freaked. Nice mind game played there! When Brad came to pick her up, he said he needed to talk to the other crazy Ashley H.. Who's pissed...well Michelle of course. Insert awkward fight between Chantal and Michelle, making Michelle look even more dumb. Then finally Brad comes in to a pouty Michelle as she pulls his arm off to get him to leave! What do they do on their date, conquer another fear (tear)! I do have to say, that would of been the date I would of wanted! Repelling off a building, AWESOME! Then we watch them GO AT IT in the pool, then again on the bed, all the while with us cringing at home! And then he asks to meet her kid....puke! She's not going anywhere soon! I think Brad needs more therapy. There is a difference between hard to get and a b***h! Oh and why are her one on one interviews always violent? I think this week she did a double pump hit going "Pow...pow pow". HAHA SO WEIRD!

Brad then complains to his therapist about having to kiss lots of girls. Oh the problems...

At the rose Ceremony, a few things stuck out to me. When he talked with Shawntel and she had him catch her in his arms, I said "She should say this is what we can do when you propose to me" and Nate goes "Whoa...you just pushed me away" LMAO! Then he decides to piss of all the girls in the house except one by asking Emily to talk and grabs a basket with wine, a blanket, and pillows in it. Those girls have a reason to be mad, he is completely in like/love with Emily. Is she with him, not so sure yet! I think she still needs to break out of her shell. Hot only works until gravity sets in! Chantal was a little dramatic about the whole situation which makes my assumptions of what happened in that tent probably right on!

So who did he get rid of:

• Stacey the Cheat
• Meghan the Friend
• Lindsay the Daddy's Girl (what was with that??)

I was so happy he kept Lisa-Kansas and rolled my eyes when I heard Ashley H.!

Looks like VEGAS is going to be crazy next week. You know what they say...
"What happens in Vegas is aired on National TV"!